New Year's Resolutions

2016 is almost over, or basically we could just say it is over.

And, for this reason, most people are writting down, or sharing their New Year's Resolutions. I think there's something really positive about doing that. Having goals, things you want to do in life, it's something beautiful.

It's a way of saying what you look forward to doing, and what you're going to fight for. 

If you fight for that, and when the year finishes, you realise that you did a good job and got to make it true - that's priceless.

That's what happened to me, I made a wish at the end of 2015 - to be capable to be as I am, and that the world could see me as I saw myself. I fought for that, and today, 31st of December of 2016, I can say my dream came true. That's priceless, as I said. 

So do it, write down, or just say to yourself what you want to achieve. But don't just write it and put it down. Fight every single day of the year so your goals, your dreams, do come true. 

Cheers for the dreams that do come true, cheers for the fighters. 

Happy new year for everyone, keep fighting for what you want the most, 'cause you can do it. Love y'all <3

Eating Disorders Awareness Day

Today, 30th of November, it's Eating Disorders' Awareness Day.

I'm going to start talking about statistics. You know why? When we see the numbers, it's when we realize how dangerous or important something is.

• At least 30 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an ED (eating disorder) in the U.S.
• Every 62 minutes, at least one person dies as a direct result from an ED.
• Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.
• 13% of women over 50 engage in ED behaviors
• In a large national study of college students, 3.5% sexual minority women and 2.3% of sexual minority men reported having an ED.
• 16% of transgender college students reported having an ED.
• In a study following active duty military personnel over time, 5.5% of women and 4% of men had an ED at the beginning of the study, and within just a few years of continued service - 3.3% more women and 2.6% more men developed an ED.
• ED affect all races and ethnic groups. 
• Genetics, environmental factors and personality traits all combine to create risk for an ED.

All this information is from ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Asociated Disorders, Inc. 

What does this all mean? It means that ED's are more common than we think, and more dangerous than we can even imagine. 

ED's are not only being extremely underweight and binging. It's not only about the food. It's much more than that, and there are many types and symptoms.

Is a person close to you suffering from an ED/you suspect they're suffering from an ED? You don't know what to do to help them? 

Never blame them, never threaten them, never blame yourself. Learn about it, so that you know how you can help them. Encourage them to get help, let them know they're not alone. 

Are you suffering from an ED/Do you think you might be suffering from an ED? You don't know what to do? 

There are many resources, of many different kinds. The best option is to seek for a psychologist, but if you can't for whatever reason, you can call a helpline, search for support groups online, and there are also some email lines to receive support via email. 

Here you can find some help resources: 

http://www.anad.org/get-help/

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/recovery

https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/recovery

You can get through this, you're not alone.  

What not to do if you're being bullied.

Are your classmates making fun of you? Do they tease you? Do they call you names? Do you find yourself marginalized? Do they threaten others so they don't get along with you?

If you're being bullied, these are the things you definitely shouldn't do: 

- Blame yourself. This one's easy to say, but it's not that easy to do so when it's you who's going through this. However, none of this is your fault, you're not the one to blame. Don't let blame blind you. 

- Stay silent. Even though it may seems as if you speak up things will get worse, that's false. You shouldn't be keeping all this to yourself - talking to someone who cares and understands will definitely help. And, if it's with a person who can help you stop the bullying -a teacher, a family member, the school counselor...- it's even better.

- Repeat their actions. The "if you hit me, I'll hit you" way of thinking doesn't solve anything. Your response to their bulling cannot be more bullying. That chain reaction has really bad consequences - for you, and for others.

- Don't make any hurried decision. Bullying can be such a hard thing to deal with, nevertheless, things can and will get better. You might feel like there's no escape, but that isn't true. Those classmates, when highschool's over, won't ever matter again. Don't let them win.

In case you're being bullied, there are many resources you can find online as well. Below I'm posting some, but there are plenty of them more if those aren't what you're looking for. You're not alone.

Stop Bullying

National Centre Against Bullying

Kids Help Phone

National Bullying Helpline

What to do and what not to do if...

Today I was just thinking about what I could do to take back to life (let's call it that way, I couldn't find a better expression) this blog, and an idea came to mind.

I'm going to create a section which is going to be called "what to do if..." and another one called "what not to do if...". What's this going to be about? Basically, I'm going to give advice about what to do and not to do if you're going through certain situations.

For this, I need your help. Even though I have some ideas in mind, I'd love it if you said to me what topics you'd like me to talk about in this new section.

Where can you tell me that?

You can tweet me or write me a Direct Message here

You can send me a question in AskFm telling me that here

You can message me via Tumblr  here.

And also you can write a comment below, in this post, saying so!

Thanks for your cooperation guys x

Try it again.

I don't know how education works where you guys live, so I talk referring to what I know only. 

Here, if you don't pass your finals in June, you have a chance to try again in September. If you don't pass those exams, you have to be in the same school year again. There are some exceptions, but that's basically it.

This post goes to everyone who hasn't passed and has to repeat the school year. Or to everyone who wanted to go to study somewhere and they couldn't for whatever reason. Or basically to everyone who wanted to do/become a certain thing... and they couldn't. 

Don't stop the fight, keep it up. 

You didn't get it this time? Try it again, try until you get it, It isn't easy, yes, I know. But, you can't let this bring you down, you can't let this be bigger than you. 

If you fall, you get up again. And that's what you're going to do right now, you're going to get back up and try as much as it's necessary to get what you wanted. No matter how worthless you feel, no matter if you feel like a failure. 

In this life, you're going to fall down so many times, 

and you're gonna need to get back up each one of them.

This is how it is, whether you want it or not.

Vacations are (almost) over.

Today it's the 29th August (at least where I live), which means that really soon a lot of you might start high school, university back. You might be a fan of that idea or you might not be.

Whichever your case, whatever your situation, there's something clear - we gotta make the most of this, right?

Highschool puts a lot of pressure upon your shoulders, that's a fact.

Sometimes you might feel like you don't feet it. Sometimes you might feel like you can't do anything right, and that it's so difficult to pass/get good grades. Sometimes everything might be a little overwhelming.

Don't worry, don't panic.

Do you know which is the key not to break down? Knowing what to do when things get harder, knowing who to turn to.

Whether it's your family, your friends, maybe some teacher you trust, the school counselor... when things at school get more difficult (this doesn't necessary need to happen, but if it does) you have to get some support, some help.

The key is to know who to turn to in case you need it - and ask them for help if you need it.

Good luck, you'll do great!

How to deal with anger.

You feel angry, whether it's for no reason or for some reason. You feel angry and don't know what to do about it. There are actually things that you can do to release that anger in a positive way, or to reduce it.

- Sport can be your ally many times. Doing physical exercise releases endorphines, and that helps you feel calmer and much better. Even if there's not a sport you like, you can go for a walk, go running... You can release your anger in a positive way by doing that.

- Also, you can go to a place apart from everyone and just scream. Release your anger by screaming, shoting as if there was no tomorrow. But, if you want to do that, do it apart from everybody if you don't want to possibly get into trouble.

- You can write down what you feel, what makes you feel angry, writing it down can be a way of letting all those negative feelings, all that anger, out.

- Music might help as well. Find the kind of music that calms you down, and listen to it for a while. It doesn't have to be quiet necessarily, just find what fits you better.

You can't let anger take over you, you need to beat it. If you have any other tips or things you do to do when you feel angry, as long as they're healthy and don't hurt anyone (yourself included), you can also do them. Anger can't win - you do.

When you can't sleep at night.

It's late at night, you want to sleep but you can't. No matter what you do to try to sleep, it seems impossible. Don't freak out, here you are some things you can do so the night doesn't feel like it's eternal. 

- Read. Reading a book, a magazine, or anything you enjoy reading, might not only make you disconnect, but also it can help you feel sleepy - so you can sleep later. 

- Listen to some music. Well, not any kind of music. Metal, hardcore and rock music aren't the best kind of music to listen to if you can't sleep since you won't feel sleepy at all probably. Some ballads, classical or acoustic music can help you though. These genres are relaxing and the best thing to listen to when you can't sleep at night. 

- Write something. If you enjoy writing, you can write a story, continue something you'd written before, write a poem... anything. It can avoid the over-thinking that usually follows insomnia, and it can be quite calming. 

- Draw. Some drawing can also help, since it's relaxing and you'll get to distract yourself. Sometimes night is a time of the day when there's a lot of inspiration! 

Whenever you can't sleep at night, don't worry, there are plenty of things you can do to distract yourself and feel sleepy. Who knows? Maybe you end up doing something creative and amazing that turns your life upside down in a positive way!

Regrets.

Sometimes, we do things without thinking about the possible consequences first, we do things without asking ourselves whether we're going to regret them later, we do things thinking they'll be the best thing to do...

After that, we regret them.

We feel lost, we lose our path, we start to blame ourselves for the mistakes we've made. We freak out, we might even hate ourselves for what we've done, we wonder why we can't do things the right way instead of screwing it all up.

Regretting all that all the time won't help you. We all have done things we regret, things we wish we could go back and make differently - we can't do that though.

So, why worry? Why over-think it? Wouldn't it better to go on with no regrets? Wouldn't it be better to just take your life back?

We'll learn from those mistakes, but we'll learn, only that. You can't let yourself spend all your time regretting what you've done.

The mirror, it lies.

Have you ever looked into the mirror and hated the reflection it showed? Have you ever looked into the mirror and wanted to cry? Have you every looked into the mirror and felt the urge to punch it?

If so, stay with me a little longer.

Let me tell you that the mirror, it lies. The mirror doesn't tell the truth. Do you want to know why?

It shows you every little imperfection in your skin, in your body, making you think that it's what you're made of... and that isn't true. However, that's not the only mistake that can be found in a mirror - it also hides some important things.

The mirror doesn't show all the things you're good at, all your habilities. The mirror doesn't show all your achievements, all your goals.

The mirror doesn't show how much you've fought so far, it doesn't show how much you're loved, it doesn't show the strength that there's inside of you. The mirror won't show that, despite all you've been through, you're here.

For this reason, if you're going to look at yourself into the mirror, I hope that this time you remind yourself the good things you've done, all your achievements, all that you can do... all you're worth. Don't forget to remind yourself that you're a warrior, you can get through anything that comes your way... and you're loved.

You're much more than what you see when you look into the mirror.

"At least, I tried"

It scares me, you know? It scares me not to try my best to get what I want to, it scares me not to give my best, it scares me not to fight with all my strength. 

Because I know I'd regret that, I know I would be disappointed at myself. 

I will push until my arms are failing. I will think until I feel my head can take no more. I will write until I can't feel my hands. I will scream until I can't say a word more. I will fight until there's nothing left of me to give. 

I don't want to wake up one day thinking: "I could've tried". I'd rather wake up one day saying: "At least, I tried".

I hope you do the same. 

Taking back control.

There comes a time in your life in which you lose all control, in everything. You can't control what's happening, you can't control your feelings, you can't control your reactions to the current situation, you can't control anything. 

You freak out, you desperate. "What the hell can I do? How did I let it get so back?", you ask yourself. 

Calm down, sit down for a moment and breathe slowly. Sometimes things seem worse than they actually are, let's see them with perspective.

Think in depth about the situation: 

- What is the situation? 

- What happened so I got into this situation? 

- What has been my reaction to it so far?

- Has my reaction to the situation make thing better or worse?

- What can I change so the situation changes as well? 

It's natural to you freak out when you feel like you've lost control. However, the same way that you've lost it, you can get it back. 

It's your time to realize that you can take control of the situation, you might not be able to control what happens in your life - but you can control how you react to that.

Once you've taken back control, never let it go because it will be the best weapon you could have - control.

Mistakes.

We're human, we make mistakes. We do things we regret later. We say things that hurt other people, even though that wasn't out intention. We try to do things a certain way, but they turn upside down and everything gets fucked up. 

Whether we want it or not, no matter how hard we try, we'll end up making mistakes.

Mistakes are something to learn from. Of course they make you feel bad, but the fear of making mistakes can't stop you from moving forward. Only if you make mistakes you'll know best in the future, you'll know what to do and what not to do.

If we didn't make mistakes, we would never learn.

In addition, it's something that happens to all of us. There's no person in the world who hasn't made mistakes.

We can do two things:

We can regret them all our life and spend it feeling bad with ourselves because we made mistakes, or we can learn from them and become a better person. What do you prefer?

"Promise me you won't do it"

If there's someone in your life who you care about having a rough time for whatever reason and you want to help them, this post is for you. 

If this person we're talking about is having issues related to self harm, eating disorders, susbtance abuse, I'm going to give you some advice. 

First of all, you need to understand that these are very serious issues, and you cannot and shouldn't just look the other way. Even though those aren't suicidal acts themselves, they can be really dangerous to the person, and also the risk of suicide becomes higher. 

Secondly, there's something you need to know - this is not a choice. The person who's suffering from any of theses issues (or any other issue) didn't choose that, so don't blame them, don't shout them or reprimand them because it's not only useless but also potentially harming. 

Thirdly, do not tell them to promise you they won't do it. I know it's the first thing that you do when you realize someone you care about is doing something which is hurting them, but you need to think about that with perspective. Asking them to promise you they won't do it might probably cause a stressful situation and could cause them feelings of guilt if they can't keep the promise. As I said before, it's not a choice, therefore sometimes they just can't help it. However, you can ask them to promise you to try or to call you or something if they're having urges of doing that.

Fourthly, show them support. This is a hard situation and your loved one is probably going through a rough time, for this reason, showing them you care, that you're there if they needed, just reaching your hand, is something they'll be grateful for. 

Fifthly, do not blame yourself. This is something really important as well. You're trying your best, you're doing it great but if they relapse or can't stop doing that it's not your fault. It's not easy to help someone who's going through any of the issues I mentioned, you will probably feel frustrated. Keep this in mind - none of this is your fault.

Sixthly, suggest them asking for help. We all need help sometimes and it's not weak to ask for help. Encourage them to ask for help from an adult, or even professional help. Show them it's not something bad and that it will help them - it's actually the best for them. Nevertheless, don't pressure them.

Seventhly, if it goes far, if you think their life might be in danger, tell someone. It doesn't matter if you promised not to tell anyone or if they will hate you for that, if they're in danger you need to tell someone what's going on. If you need to call an ambulance, do it. If you need to call their family, do it. If you need to call the police, do it. They'll be mad at you, they won't like it - but it's for their sake. 

Well, I'm not going to write more advice or the post will become too long. This advice is just personal and talking from experience, keep that in mind. I hope that it helps you in anyway, if you need any other advice or help you know where to find me.

Society doesn't rule.

Somehow we end up thinking about society whenever we're going to do something. 

"What will society think?" "Is this what I'm supposed to do/be?" "How does society see this?" are questions that we think about before making most of the decisions about ourselves. 

One way or another, society ends up being the "thing" we never forget about. Society ends up being the dictator that holds us, that keeps us as prisoners. 

They try to make us think that society isn't the dictator, with the lame excuse that they're not obliging us. Nonetheless, what happens if we don't obey society? Suddenly the world hates us, because we're different. If you're different, you're out. Not obliging society means that you'll probably be discriminated, hated, and, who knows what else? 

Society dictates us how to be, and if you don't obey, well, face the music. What does this mean? We're being obliged indirectly. 

Okay, this is what society, the world, tells us. This are the cards they give you to play with. Do you want to know what I think?

Society doesn't rule. This is what I think. 

You don't have to obey society, you don't have to be as they tell you to be if you don't want to. You need to be as you want to, no as someone else wants. After all, the person who should matter the most to you is yourself, and you deserve to be happy. You have the right of being as you want to be, of being yourself. 

They tell you to face the consequences, well, as long as you don't hurt anyone, there's nothing wrong with being who you are. If they don't like it, you deserve better people than that in your life. There will be bad consequences, I can't tell you otherwise. But, guess what? You can also fight, fight for your rights, for what you deserve. 

There's a consequence they don't like to tell you about... being yourself is the first step to take if you want to be happy. Are you going to let society rule? Or are you going to let yourself rule? 

It's your life. Society doesn't rule - you do. 

Eating disorders.

Did you skip any meal today? Did you make yourself throw up today? If you did, or if you want to do it or basically do it whatever frequency, please, stay with me for a while. 

It won't take long, I promise.

I don't know you, and you probably don't know me either, so it's the same for the both of us. For this reason, I don't know what's going on in your mind, your thoughts, your life and so on. I'm not going to talk to you about what I don't know. 

Do you tell yourself "only until I reach x (x being a number of weight), then I'll stop"? I want to tell you something - that doesn't work. You think that you'll be happy with your own image when you reach a certain weight, so you do unhealthy things to reach that, thinking that it's the way to see yourself in the mirror and think "I like it", or maybe because you think that that way you'll be thin enough. That way you end up living in a vicious circle, because when you reach the weight you wanted to, you'll want to lose more weight. 

I can't tell you to just stop and eat the meals you should, talk is cheap, but the reality is different. It's not that easy, I know. That doesn't mean that you can't do it - you can do it. 

First of all, you need to realize that there's nothing wrong with your body, and, if you want to lose weight for whatever reason, let's set the record straight - do it healthily. What does that mean? Eat, you need to eat. You should eat five meals a day without eating less and skipping any of them, because they can be healthy, which is actually better for your health. You can do some sport (regularly but not as an obsession, no extremes). 

Very important: your body isn't the problem, so, causing it that damage will not make anything better. Also, it can cause you many health problems in the future, or very soon. 

You don't have to do to your body what you're doing. You don't deserve it, nor does it. You don't deserve to go to bed feeling hungry because you barely ate dinner, or you skipped it. You don't deserve to go through all this. You deserve to love yourself and live a healthy life. 

However, as I said, talk is cheap. It's easy to tell you just not to do it, but you still feel guilty whenever you eat, and you still hate what you see when you look into the mirror. I cannot change that, and believe me, I wish I could. Nevertheless, I can give you some advice, hoping it can help.

- Be aware that society standards don't need to be followed by you, you don't have to be as the people you see in magazines or TV. Actually, usually being that way is unhealthy.

- Try to find parts of your body that you love and embrace them! Step by step try loving more and more parts of your body, even though it's hard, try to find parts you love.

- Reach out. I'd point this as the most important thing. If you can seek professional help, I recommend you doing that, it's a real help and there's nothing wrong about that. Nonetheless, whether you can't, you can search for help other way. If you have someone close to you who you can trust, you can open up to them and share your feelings with them. It can't help as much as a therapist of course, but it's something. Also you can search for self-help books or pages, they're an useful resource of help. 

Besides all that, I always say this but I don't mind repeating myself. I'm also here to listen if you need it. You can contact me on Twitter, ask.fm, here on blogger, and in most social networks by just searching: "bandskeepalive". 

Have a good night guys, love y'all! <3

A break.

A break.

We all have a break sometimes. We have a break in high school in the middle of the morning, in jobs there's a break as well, we take a break when we're studying and we've been studying for so long, we take a break many times and for many different reasons, don't we?

Sometimes, when we take a break it's because we're lazy, but most of the times it's because we need it, we need a break.

Is it wrong to take a break? Definitely no. Don't you ever think that.

If you need a break, it's totally okay to take one. When, for whatever reason, we're tired, exhausted, the best thing to do is take a break. After we've taken that break, we'll probably feel more powerful and ready to win! It's exactly like when you've been working all day and then you go to sleep and sleep for like ten hours, what happens? When you wake up you're full of energy.

When I'm talking about taking a break, I talk about many kind of breaks. For example, it could be taking some time for yourself, like relaxing and chilling. I don't know, whatever it means to you to take a break, what matters is that when you finish your break you come back all out!

Go ahead!

You're right there, standing still in front of your dreams. You can't reach them with your hand yet, but if you keep walking a little bit you can get them. 

But there's something holding you, something that keeps you from doing whatever it costs to make your dreams true. 

You cannot let that happen. You need to go and look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you can do it. Don't also tell yourself that you can do it, believe it! Once you have those two things, there's only one thing you have to do... go ahead! Go ahead and fight for what you want the most, don't let fear hold you back. 

Stop waiting, start moving. You want your dreams to become true? Cool, work for it. Nobody's going to do it for you, nobody's going to do what you have to do. Don't waste any more time, stop wondering "what if", and check by yourself what's going to happen. 

What are you waiting for? What are you afraid of?