Revenge.

I always talk here from a positive side of things, trying to transmit positive vibes, that's what I want and I hope that it works as I want it to work. However, feelings aren't always positive, and there are many negative feelings that should be talked about. Life itself isn't all rainbows and good things happening, it's all different than that. 

Today, the negative feeling I want to talk about is revenge. 

When someone hurts you really bad, there are many feelings you experience. You might feel guilty, you might feel ashamed, you might feel abandoned... you can also feel the need of getting revenge. It's something that happens usually to the victims of any kind of abuse, or basically anyone who's been hurt by other person. When you've been hurt for so long and the emotional (or physical) damage that's been caused to you has affect you, there have been consequences for you, there are some moments when you want revenge. 

The victim wants the person who's hurt them to know what they've done, you want the person who's hurt you to realize what they've actually done, how they've actually made you feel like, the range of their actions.

I've had those moments when I had been hurt so badly by someone and I did think of getting revenge. I wanted the person who had hurt me to realize what they had done to me, how it had affected me, basically what they'd done. Nevertheless, I never did those things I thought about, I never got revenge. 

I'm not in favor of revenge, I'm not saying it's the solution to anything because it's not. What I really want to say that it's okay to feel that, that you're not a bad person for thinking that you want the person who's hurt you to go through the same they made you go through, it's natural. 

Nonetheless, I don't think that getting revenge will help solve anything. It won't make you feel better, it won't solve your problems, it won't help you get through the emotional effects of whatever they've done to you. Sometimes it might be the first thing that comes to your mind when you remember everything you've gone through or whatever, but I want you to think through this: what will I solve by getting revenge? Will it make things better? 

The answer is, you won't solve anything, you won't make things better by doing that. You've been hurt and it's unfair - but you're so much better than revenge. 

Different resoures of help.

It's completely okay to ask for help, whether it is to a family member, a friend, a teacher... whoever you can trust and will be willing to listen or help. However, each person's situation is different, and for many reasons, there might be people who can't get help that way. Don't freak out, don't panic, because you can still get help. 

No matter what you're going through, you deserve to get help if you want to get help, if you need to get help. We all need help sometimes, that doesn't make us weak or attention seekers - that makes us humans. 

There are some things that we can get through by ourselves, nonetheless, other things, we can't overcome them alone. If you can get help by someone you can talk to face-to-face, it's the best option, without a doubt. Nevertheless, as I said, each person's situation is different, and you might not have the means to get that kind of help. How can you get help then? 

Firstly, one of the means of help that I find useful myself are self-help books. You don't need to pay any money, since in public libraries you can find some very useful books of many different topics that you might need help in. 

Also, the internet can be a great place to get help, if you know where to search. Samaritans, 7 Cups Of Tea, have at your disposition trained volunteers who are willing to listen. Those are only two examples, but there are many pages more who can offer you that kind of help.

If we continue on the Internet, I recommend you to check out Kati Morton's YouTube channel. She's a therapist who talks about many different mental health related topics and gives advice in many topics, you can even ask her in the #Q&As about any other topic you might need help in! (Some videos are subtitled in different languages)

And, to finish with, you can also get help by calling a hotline. I'll leave here some hotlines worldwide in case you need it. 

Potential?

People talk about potential, about talent, all the time. They say that certain people have an innate talent, that they have the potential to do great things. I won't deny that, because it is true that some people are born with the talent to do certain things - however, talent and potential themselves alone will do nothing. 

It is true that, if you want to do a certain thing in life, and you have the talent to do it, it will all be easier. That's true. Nevertheless, why do you want talent if you're not going to take advantage of it? Of course it will be easier for you if you have potential than if you don't, but, who cares? 

What you really need isn't talent, or potential... what you need is determination. That is what you actually need, you need to be determined to do whatever you want to. Attitude is what you need. You need to tell yourself: "I can do this", and fight to get it, you need to do what it takes to make your dreams true. 

Staying still and watching everyone work to get their dreams isn't the answer, it's not what you have to do. You see it's hard? Well, it isn't going to be easy, but you still need to be determined if that's what you want. There's no other way to make your dreams true, to become who you want to become.

Determination will help you find the way, it will help you lead it. If you have talent, take advantage of it and work, work as hard as it takes. Nonetheless, don't think that talent itself will do everything is, because, truth be told - it won't. 

"You're important to me"

Sometimes, it feels like we actually need to do a lot to help someone, that it takes so much to "save a life" or whatever you want to call it. I don't think so. I think that making a difference doesn't always take that much. 

"You know I'm here to listen if you need it, right" 

"You're important to me" 

"Thank you for being in my life" 

"I care about you" 

"You're worth it"

"You deserve getting help"

Sometimes, those words that might seem just like that, aren't just words. They mean more than that to some people. Those words can be the difference between a bad day and a good day, between crying themselves to sleep or going to sleep with a tiny smile, between giving up or holding on a little bit longer... 

No, saying that you care about someone won't fix all their problems all of a sudden, it won't, do you know what will change? They will know someone out there cares, they will know that they mean something to you, they will know that even though they feel alone, they're not that alone. 

You'll never know the difference those words can make until you're having a terrible day when everything goes wrong and someone says: "hey, you're important to me". Maybe you haven't even told them you're having a bad day, but they just say it and you're like: you said what I just needed to hear. That has happened to me and it makes a huge difference, more than words can even express. 

And I try to do the same often, you know? I like to tell people I care about them, because, you can never know if someone is hurting or not - and telling someone you care about them is something which is always welcome. 

A perfect life.

I don't quite know why, but it seems like everyone's looking for a perfecf life. It's like the ultimate goal for many people. I don't think it's right or wrong to search for it, since, after all, happiness is what we all want, don't we? 

There's a misconception though. It looks like we need our lives to be perfect in order to be happy. I don't want to break your plans or anything like that. However, you'd do yourself a favor if you didn't spend most of your time searching for something you won't find. Why? Because life's not meant to be perfect. Life won't be perfect. A perfect life isn't what will bring you happiness. Such thing doesn't exist. 

Nobody's life is perfect, even though many people actually think so. They think that only because someone doesn't complain about their problem, that means they don't have problems. They think that because someone smiles bright they're happy, when they might be broken inside. We all go through hard stuff, we all suffer. We all have scars - whether they're visible or not. 

Then, why should we waste our time searching for something we won't find? Isn't it better to try to make what we already have seem perfect? We could try to make our imperfect lives feel perfect. Or, maybe they don't have to feel like they were perfect, maybe we only need to enjoy the imperfections of life. Would rainbows exist if rain didn't exist? No. Would happiness exist if there weren't bad moments? No. 

Maybe we should focus on something different than searching for a perfect life. Maybe the answer is to find small perfections inside the imperfections of life. 

To the bullied ones...

This post goes to everyone who's being bullied, who was bullied, or who will be bullied. This goes to everyone who's been ridiculized, made fun of, who has had to put up with nasty things said to them, even when it was unfair. 

You know what? Those people giving you a hard time, they're no better than you. Behind those faces and insults they say to you, they're just insecure. You think they're superior? They're not. They're just a bunch of people saying things which aren't even true - and which shouldn't matter to you. 

Nonetheless, just saying that you shouldn't care about them doesn't change a thing, does it? Yes, I know right. What I'm saying are only a few words published in some random blog that you've visited for a reason I don't know. But, hey, after all they're the same thing - words. What they said are words, and what I'm saying are words. But, they have told you all those things for so long you've started to believe it. Maybe you didn't at first - but if they tell you something a hundred times, you end up believing it. I get it, it's normal. 

Their words have cut your skin like razor blades, the wounds don't seem to heal, and scars don't seem to fade. You can't forget the things they said, even if they said them years ago, you still remember their words, how much it hurt, and how much it still hurts. You're scarred inside. 

Maybe you're scared of going to high school, because you're scared of them. Maybe you're even scared of catching your own mobile phone, because of the messages. Maybe you're scared of going outside, because you think you might bump into them. You're scared of trusting people, of meeting new people, because you're afraid they'll do the same. You're scared of the world... you're scared of everything. 

Maybe - I hope not - the bullying is so bad that you can't stand it anymore, it hurts so bad that you just want it to end. You just want them to leave you alone, but they don't. And it's coming to a point where you can't stand it. 

I want to tell you that those people, they're not right. You're not worthless, or a failure, or whatever they said or made you feel like you are. I want you to know that this, it won't last forever. When you leave high school, those people, they won't matter, maybe you won't even see them again. Are you going to let them win? You can't. You can't give up. 

Believe me, I know what you're going through. I've been there. And I swear to you that you're much better than all of this, you can get through it. You can't let them win, okay? I know it's so damn hard and that it's awful, I know - but not even all that you're going through will last forever, you need to keep up the fight. 

However, you don't have to go through this alone. You can search for help, whether it's from your family, a friend, a counselor, or whoever is willing to help. Even on the internet, there are multiple support pages filled with people willing to listen. 

I am here for you as well, so if you need someone to talk to or whatever you can contact me - I'll always answer ASAP. 

Heroes.

Somehow, we all search for a hero, at least sometimes we do. Whenever things turn differently than what we expected, or whenever everything seems to go wrong, we search for something, or someone to turn to. We want a hero, to save us, to rescue us.

What we really search for isn't a hero like the ones we see in films - at the end of the day, we all know those superheroes from films don't exist. We search for ordinary heroes that can help us get through whatever we're going through. That person becomes our escape, our shelter, our protection from whatever we're running from. If we see it like that, it sounds pretty cool, it sounds like the best option. 

That has a side effect though. When you "find" that hero you've been looking for, you start depending on that person. That way, if that person leaves, you're done, and you're left out in worse conditions than you were before. In addition, let's not forget the fact that, nothing lasts forever - therefore, that hero will end up leaving, whether it's their choice to leave or not. 

What's the thing to do then? What can we do when things go all wrong and we do need a hero? 

I can't go ahead and tell you not to search for a hero, because I know we all sometimes need a hero. The issue is that we search for a hero in the wrong sources. I'm not saying it's bad to turn to someone else when things are hard, don't give me to wrong. It's completely okay to do that sometimes, and you should do that if you have people you trust and willing to help. 

Nevertheless, that's not the point here. You can't depend on someone for the rest of your life, can you? 

Now, I would like you to think about this: if it's okay to need a hero, but you can't depend of someone who will end up leaving, what can you do? I think it's quite easy, don't you think so? 

That hero you've been searching for is the person you see when you look in the mirror. That's the only person that will stick to you for the rest of your life, for good and for bad. So, what's best than becoming your own hero? You're that hero you've been searching for. You just have to find a way to become that hero. 

We all idolize heroes when we watch them in a film, but, when it comes to real life, it's like we find it hard to become a hero. However, we can be a hero - our own hero. You don't need any hero but yourself, so go for it.