"You're important to me"

Sometimes, it feels like we actually need to do a lot to help someone, that it takes so much to "save a life" or whatever you want to call it. I don't think so. I think that making a difference doesn't always take that much. 

"You know I'm here to listen if you need it, right" 

"You're important to me" 

"Thank you for being in my life" 

"I care about you" 

"You're worth it"

"You deserve getting help"

Sometimes, those words that might seem just like that, aren't just words. They mean more than that to some people. Those words can be the difference between a bad day and a good day, between crying themselves to sleep or going to sleep with a tiny smile, between giving up or holding on a little bit longer... 

No, saying that you care about someone won't fix all their problems all of a sudden, it won't, do you know what will change? They will know someone out there cares, they will know that they mean something to you, they will know that even though they feel alone, they're not that alone. 

You'll never know the difference those words can make until you're having a terrible day when everything goes wrong and someone says: "hey, you're important to me". Maybe you haven't even told them you're having a bad day, but they just say it and you're like: you said what I just needed to hear. That has happened to me and it makes a huge difference, more than words can even express. 

And I try to do the same often, you know? I like to tell people I care about them, because, you can never know if someone is hurting or not - and telling someone you care about them is something which is always welcome. 

A perfect life.

I don't quite know why, but it seems like everyone's looking for a perfecf life. It's like the ultimate goal for many people. I don't think it's right or wrong to search for it, since, after all, happiness is what we all want, don't we? 

There's a misconception though. It looks like we need our lives to be perfect in order to be happy. I don't want to break your plans or anything like that. However, you'd do yourself a favor if you didn't spend most of your time searching for something you won't find. Why? Because life's not meant to be perfect. Life won't be perfect. A perfect life isn't what will bring you happiness. Such thing doesn't exist. 

Nobody's life is perfect, even though many people actually think so. They think that only because someone doesn't complain about their problem, that means they don't have problems. They think that because someone smiles bright they're happy, when they might be broken inside. We all go through hard stuff, we all suffer. We all have scars - whether they're visible or not. 

Then, why should we waste our time searching for something we won't find? Isn't it better to try to make what we already have seem perfect? We could try to make our imperfect lives feel perfect. Or, maybe they don't have to feel like they were perfect, maybe we only need to enjoy the imperfections of life. Would rainbows exist if rain didn't exist? No. Would happiness exist if there weren't bad moments? No. 

Maybe we should focus on something different than searching for a perfect life. Maybe the answer is to find small perfections inside the imperfections of life. 

To the bullied ones...

This post goes to everyone who's being bullied, who was bullied, or who will be bullied. This goes to everyone who's been ridiculized, made fun of, who has had to put up with nasty things said to them, even when it was unfair. 

You know what? Those people giving you a hard time, they're no better than you. Behind those faces and insults they say to you, they're just insecure. You think they're superior? They're not. They're just a bunch of people saying things which aren't even true - and which shouldn't matter to you. 

Nonetheless, just saying that you shouldn't care about them doesn't change a thing, does it? Yes, I know right. What I'm saying are only a few words published in some random blog that you've visited for a reason I don't know. But, hey, after all they're the same thing - words. What they said are words, and what I'm saying are words. But, they have told you all those things for so long you've started to believe it. Maybe you didn't at first - but if they tell you something a hundred times, you end up believing it. I get it, it's normal. 

Their words have cut your skin like razor blades, the wounds don't seem to heal, and scars don't seem to fade. You can't forget the things they said, even if they said them years ago, you still remember their words, how much it hurt, and how much it still hurts. You're scarred inside. 

Maybe you're scared of going to high school, because you're scared of them. Maybe you're even scared of catching your own mobile phone, because of the messages. Maybe you're scared of going outside, because you think you might bump into them. You're scared of trusting people, of meeting new people, because you're afraid they'll do the same. You're scared of the world... you're scared of everything. 

Maybe - I hope not - the bullying is so bad that you can't stand it anymore, it hurts so bad that you just want it to end. You just want them to leave you alone, but they don't. And it's coming to a point where you can't stand it. 

I want to tell you that those people, they're not right. You're not worthless, or a failure, or whatever they said or made you feel like you are. I want you to know that this, it won't last forever. When you leave high school, those people, they won't matter, maybe you won't even see them again. Are you going to let them win? You can't. You can't give up. 

Believe me, I know what you're going through. I've been there. And I swear to you that you're much better than all of this, you can get through it. You can't let them win, okay? I know it's so damn hard and that it's awful, I know - but not even all that you're going through will last forever, you need to keep up the fight. 

However, you don't have to go through this alone. You can search for help, whether it's from your family, a friend, a counselor, or whoever is willing to help. Even on the internet, there are multiple support pages filled with people willing to listen. 

I am here for you as well, so if you need someone to talk to or whatever you can contact me - I'll always answer ASAP. 

Heroes.

Somehow, we all search for a hero, at least sometimes we do. Whenever things turn differently than what we expected, or whenever everything seems to go wrong, we search for something, or someone to turn to. We want a hero, to save us, to rescue us.

What we really search for isn't a hero like the ones we see in films - at the end of the day, we all know those superheroes from films don't exist. We search for ordinary heroes that can help us get through whatever we're going through. That person becomes our escape, our shelter, our protection from whatever we're running from. If we see it like that, it sounds pretty cool, it sounds like the best option. 

That has a side effect though. When you "find" that hero you've been looking for, you start depending on that person. That way, if that person leaves, you're done, and you're left out in worse conditions than you were before. In addition, let's not forget the fact that, nothing lasts forever - therefore, that hero will end up leaving, whether it's their choice to leave or not. 

What's the thing to do then? What can we do when things go all wrong and we do need a hero? 

I can't go ahead and tell you not to search for a hero, because I know we all sometimes need a hero. The issue is that we search for a hero in the wrong sources. I'm not saying it's bad to turn to someone else when things are hard, don't give me to wrong. It's completely okay to do that sometimes, and you should do that if you have people you trust and willing to help. 

Nevertheless, that's not the point here. You can't depend on someone for the rest of your life, can you? 

Now, I would like you to think about this: if it's okay to need a hero, but you can't depend of someone who will end up leaving, what can you do? I think it's quite easy, don't you think so? 

That hero you've been searching for is the person you see when you look in the mirror. That's the only person that will stick to you for the rest of your life, for good and for bad. So, what's best than becoming your own hero? You're that hero you've been searching for. You just have to find a way to become that hero. 

We all idolize heroes when we watch them in a film, but, when it comes to real life, it's like we find it hard to become a hero. However, we can be a hero - our own hero. You don't need any hero but yourself, so go for it. 

Suicide Prevention Day

Hey there! 

As you probably know, today it's the suicide prevention day. And I've got many things to say about this topic so there we go.

There's not a fantastic magical book in how to stop suicide, in how to help someone who wants to end their own life. I can assure you that. And, that sucks. Each person is different and so is the way to help them. Let me tell you something - you cannot save the world, even if you wanted to. 

What I mean with that is that, yeah, you can't save everyone, but you can try to help as much people as you can. When we talk about stopping someone's suicide we all just imagine someone standing in a bridge about to jump or something like that, but, that's not everything. There are situations that lead to that and we can give a hand to someone before that happens. 

To know if someone's hurting to the point they want to end their lives is almost impossible, it's not something you just tell when you look at someone. However, making someone smile doesn't cost that much, does it? Helping people can be as easy as a compliment, or telling someone that you're there for them whenever they need it, or tell them you're willing to listen. Sometimes, all that someone needs is to talk to someone.

That's just my advice though.

Also, if you're hurting, don't be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help doesn't make you a coward or that you're weak - actually it takes a lot of courage to ask for it. I promise you that there are people out there who are willing to listen, who want to help you, whether they're close to you or even strangers. The point is that out there there's a lot of people who care about you, even though you probably haven't realized. 

No matter how bad it gets, there's always hope. If you can't see it, let someone show you the way, because there is a way. Stay strong, we care about you, you're loved. 

I've said it a million times, but I'll say it again. Even though I'm not a therapist, I'm always willing to listen, so, if you want to talk and can't find anyone or whatever, you can contact me on twitter, tumblr, instagram, ask.fm... 

Besides that, I'm posting below the links to online resources for help or hotlines:

http://www.samaritans.org/

http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Only a game of cards.

The other day I was just thinking about life, and something came to mind - poker. I don't play poker much, but I've played several times and I really like it. Okay, let's think about poker. Someone shuffles the cards, distributes cards to all the players, and they let the game begin. 

You don't get to choose what cards you get, it's all random. You can have good luck or bad luck in the first deck of cards you get, but that isn't what matters most. 

What matters the most is what you decide to do with the deck of cards you get in the first round, and what you keep getting. What makes you win or lose a game are your choices. Sometimes you'll decide not to risk anything and it'll be the good move. Other times, you'll risk everything at one card, not knowing if you'll win or not. Maybe you win, maybe you lose. However, you have to make some sacrifices if you want to win. 

It's your choice how you decide to play. 

With experience, you'll get better. And, if you're smart enough, you'll realize that it all isn't about luck. Yeah, luck has a lot of might here, but there are people with very good luck who lose, and people with very bad luck that win. What do you say about that? 

Life's just like a game of cards. You can't choose what cards you get, but you do have the will to decide what you'll do with them. Your choices are what will make you success of fail in the end. 

School.

September's already here. 

Yeah, we all know what that means - school has already come back (for some) or is about to come. 

I'm sorry, I know most of teens hate to talk about this topic, but I'm going to talk about it. I hate to talk about it too, don't worry. However, I feel like there are some things I need to mention about it, you know, in order to give y'all some advice! 

School, or high school, or college... whatever you call it. Okay, let's not think about the studying and grades stuff for a moment, because that's not what I want to focus on. I want to focus on how to deal with school. 

A lot of people might find this post useless, the might probably not need this. Nevertheless, other might need it. 

School can be hard to deal with, and a lot of kids/teens are even afraid of going to school. Whether it's because someone's giving you a hard time or you feel like you're going to be judged, there can be many reasons why someone's afraid of going to school. It's a shame that it's even common sometimes, because nobody should ever feel afraid of going to school. Actually, if you're feeling afraid of going to school, I wanted to tell you that, I feel you. I'm not going to talk about myself here, however, I wanted you to know that I understand what you're feeling. 

The best thing you can do is try and lose that fear. 

Yeah, I know that it's pretty easy to just say it, that it's harder to do it. Fear is what's stopping you from many things, and that's what you need to get rid of. I'm not saying your fear is irrational, I'm saying that fear's stopping you from more things than you know. And it's in your hands to fight that fear. Forget about what they'll say. 

I cannot go and tell you people are going to judge you, because I'm no liar, and I want to be honest. So, yes, people will probably judge you. People always judge, always. 

I remember that once I read a quote written by a guy called Aitor Alvarez, which said: 

"Survival adice - do it, you're going to get critiziced anyway"

And, it's true. 

What I want to say with this is that, just be yourself. Be yourself and don't give a damn what they say or what they think. Stay true to yourself and don't let fear stop you from anything. 

Your attitude toward certain situations can really make the difference, and it's more than you think. 

So, when you wake up in the morning to go to school, try to concienciate yourself that what others think doesn't matter. You're going to do good. Just trust in yourself and aspire to do great things in your life. Because, you can do it. 

And, some people messing up with you or whatever can't be the reason that stops you from that. Do your thing and remember - you won't see them again when you get out of school probably, so, why letting their (negative) opinions matter?